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Saturday, June 3, 2023

ABC Town Hall Unfairly Ambushes Dear President With Questions from American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last night, ABC hosted a town hall discussion with President Donald John Trump, and unsurprisingly, the lamestream media event, hosted by noted Clintonista George Stephanopoulos, was nothing more than a petty stunt, meant to make our Dear President look bad. Perhaps the most offensive part of the night was that the ambush of our great, white, Christian American patriot president was carried out by those who should be his loyal subjects!

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Throughout the course of the evening’s show, God King Emperor trump was sucker-punched with calm, respectful questions about his leadership decisions. One might have thought that these disrespectful attempts to hold the president accountable for his words and actions would have gotten at least one of the impudent questioners arrested. However, instead of that happening, our poor picked-upon Troll in Chief had to just sit there and answer the questions as best he could without the loving care and help of a single OANN or Fox News reporter to coach him through a semi-coherent answer.

“I just don’t get why the president would expose himself like this so close to the election,” one pro-Trump operative told us this morning. “Does he want people really understanding how stupid, unprepared, and unfit he is? He needs to keep some stuff close to the vest.”

During one of the most viral moments of the night, a woman actually had the temerity to interrupt the president when he was trying to interrupt her! The absolute gall of that woman to attack our president like that is something that will probably be addressed by Attorney General William Barr personally, but at the very least, it can be assumed that her local MAGA office will paying her a visit.

Watch the stunning exchange between a pleb and our God King Emperor, below:

True to form, however, even such a brazen attack on his ego couldn’t dampen the president’s spirit, or penetrate the enormous shield of delusion he was granted by none other than God himself. On Twitter this morning, Dear President made it clear he’s heard nothing but positive, rave reviews for his performance during last night’s townhall.

“It’s quite fascinating. I’ve never heard of a president who congratulates himself publicly for things he told himself privately,” presidential historian Deborah Swissenmeyer told us. “So this man continues, in his own unique, extremely stupid way, to be a precedent setting, history making figure, one way or the other.”

Reportedly, Trump has asked Attorney General Barr to investigate whether some of the people who asked him questions last night can be arrested for “assault with incisive questions.”

“The president was quite offended that these people thought they had a right to speak to him as if he were one of them,” Press Secretary Barbie McDitzydick told reporters on the White House lawn this morning. “So I’m not going to get ahead of him on anything, but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if some arrests were made once Attorney General Barr figures out how to justify shredding the Constitution.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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