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Monday, June 5, 2023

Birx Wishes She Had Been Close to Trump and Had Access to the Media to Do More to Stop Him

Dr. Deborah Birx said in a radio interview today that she “feels particularly guilty” about not doing more to keep President Donald Trump’s administration’s pandemic response from allowing more than 400,000 Americans to die from covid-19. Birx blamed her inability to do more on two factors — she wasn’t close enough to the president, and she didn’t have enough access to the national media.

“Sure, I was literally in the same room with him. Yes, I was standing right next to him in all those unhinged, loony press briefings,” Birx admitted, “but I mean, I feel like I wasn’t close enough. Could I have just coughed the word ‘Bullshit!’ into my hand every time he said something wildly untrue? Sure. But I didn’t, and I’m not sure what to blame, other than my proximity to the president at the time.”

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Dr. Birx also indicated that she never got the sense that she had access to the media that would let her get the word out about where she felt the former president was “screwing the pooch.”

“Look, if I felt like I had access to the media and could get my message out about him screwing the pooch,” Birx asserted, “I would have done that. But when you’re standing in front of cameras that are recording things that are going to be broadcast, streamed, and rebroadcast all over America, you sort of get disoriented.”

The Trump administration was responsible for the United States’ response to covid-19 for the entirety of 2020. In that time, more than 400,000 people died from covid-19 or related causes. To date, former President Trump has continued to deny any responsibility for the death toll, and has sought to take credit for the development of the vaccines currently being rushed into the arms of Americans as quickly as possible.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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