COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and singer/writer Jethro Bohiggins says he “knows for a fact” that social media giants like Facebook and Twitter are “full-on, hardcore censoring conservative voices,” and he’s particular angry at Twitter these days. Bohiggins says he believes that he’s being shadowbanned by Twitter, and that the lack of activity on his tweets is part of his evidence.
“What good are all my friends following me if they can’t see my screeds, fam? I think @RealAmericanJoe12345 is dying to see my hot takes on things, but Twitter’s algorithm won’t let him see me,” Bohiggins ranted.
Jethro said that while discussing the issue with some people he met a local bar, they suggested that the algorithm isn’t showing his tweets to people, because the content of his tweets isn’t what the majority of people want to see. Bohiggins dismissed those ideas outright.
Surgeon General: Teens And Pregnant Women Should Avoid Cannabis And Driving Cars Off Bridges
“Some dipshits were talking to me about how when they see my tweets, it’s all just racist, sexist, homophobic content, and that they didn’t wanna see that kinda stuff,” Jethro told his audience, “which of course makes me wonder just one thing — why is Twitter’s algorithm forcing me to tweet that stuff! It’s clearly all their fault, because they’re all, like, biased and shit, fam!”
Bohiggins is “quite suspicious indeed” of the algorithm because it reminds him of “one of the most libtarded libtards ever.”
“Al Gore and algorithm sound a lot alike, fam. A lot alike,” Jethro said. “Coincidence? I think not.”
Mr. Bohiggins is reportedly seriously considering suing Twitter for “making” him a racist, sexist, idiot with unpopular opinions.
“So pretty much what I’m hearing, fam, is that if Twitter didn’t exist, I would be very popular and people would hear what I had to say about things and agree,” Jethro posited, “but thanks to Twitter’s algorithm, I’m all of a sudden just a crackpot loser spouting insanity and racism. Well, this is America, and that’s my right to be that way. So I am going to sue Twitter prolly for turning me from a super-popular average white guy into foamy-mouthed racist moron.”
Thus far, Bohiggins has yet to find himself an attorney to represent him against Twitter. He says he will keep us posted if and when he puts a lawyer on retainer. This story will be updated as it progresses.
Bush Says Trump Should Know How To Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them On Hurricanes
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”
James’ newest satirical compilation is out now and available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and soon at WalMart.com.