COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Jethro Bohiggins, right-wing podcaster and Facebook page administrator, loves President Donald J. Trump, and he’s not at all afraid to tell people.
“Donald Trump delivered us from the evils of the libtard agenda of letting adults marry other adults and not raping the Earth for two days worth of energy,” Bohiggins recently told his podcast audience. “He stood bravely in the way of a Mack truck of equality, fairness, and freedom so that we conservative, Christian, God fearing, ammo hoarding patriots could cling to our version of America, which may or may not have ever happened or been a thing.”
However, a recent tweet of President Trump’s has Jethro concerned. While his own loyalty can never be shaken, he says, he worries that others among Trump’s base will abandon him after they read the tweet. Trump’s Gallup approval rating is currently 40%, but has seen dips as low as 34% less than a month ago. Bohiggins is worried that an even smaller number of people will support him now.
….to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 6, 2018
Bohiggins aired his concerns on the most recent episode of I’m Completely Biased But So Are You So You’ll Never Call Me On It.
“I get that he was defending himself against the evil attacks of a libtard commie fake news journalist who was trying to use Trump’s own administration’s words against them,” Bohiggins admits. “But he’s gotta be careful goin’ around implyin’ he’s all smart and shit. Republicans will abandon him faster than they abandon their small government principles whenever they talk about gay marriage or abortion.”
Jethro is concerned that Trump underestimates just how much his base shuns intellectualism. He says that “for decades we’ve been pumped full of anti-education rhetoric” by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and other right-wing pundits. He says that even remotely considering himself a genius might make some of his base turn on Trump.
“We are a political movement that has shunned smart people as elitists and academics as socialist liberal America haters for 30 years, after all,” Bohiggins said with exasperation. “He’s a’sposed to be a common man. Not some learned book scholaring libtard cuck!”
There has yet to be confirmation from any independent sources of Mr. Trump’s IQ or alleged genius status.
You can read satire like this every day on The Pastiche Post and Political Garbage Chute.
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