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Saturday, June 3, 2023

Congresswoman Suggests Trump ‘Go Back to the Overflowing Toilet’ He Came From

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) was stopped on her way to the grocery store today in the nation’s capital. Rep. Tlaib was asked to respond to incendiary, hostile tweets from the president’s account this morning, which were seemingly aimed at her and her fellow “Squad” of freshman female representatives. In the tweets, Trump angrily lashed out, without naming any of them specifically, at what he called “‘Progressive’ Democrat Congresswomen” and told them to “go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places” they came from.

Mr. Trump was probably also referring to Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) and/or Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). Rep. Tlaib didn’t seem to care which congresswoman Trump was addressing specifically. Instead, she decided to give him a similar suggestion to his own.

“Maybe President Trump should go back to the overflowing toilet he came from,” Tlaib told reporters, “and flush himself.”

Tlaib expounded on her metaphor a bit more.

“I’m just saying that in my lifetime, only pieces of shit say things like, ‘Go back where you came from,’ to brown skinned Americans,” Tlaib explained, “so yeah, he’s a piece of shit, clearly, and he needs to back to the bowl he slopped out of and see himself the fuck back to the sewer where he belongs.”

Though Rep. Tlaib is not an immigrant herself, her parents are Palestinian immigrants. Tlaib was born in Detroit in the 1970s. But she says she assumes Trump was “lumping” her in with Omar because he’s “too stupid to research where [she] was born.”

“He may not have even been talking about me specifically,” Tlaib said, “but I have Rep. Omar’s back, and besides, the big dumb idiot probably thinks I’m an immigrant because of my last name anyway.”

Rep. Tlaib was speaking candidly, but it’s not the first time. Tlaib famously told constituents at a party celebrating her victory in last year’s midterms that she wanted to go to D.C. and “impeach the motherfucker,” referring to President Trump. This morning, Rep. Tlaib said she wanted to apologize for that comment.

“That was wrong of me to say,” Tlaib said. “Not wrong because it’s mean. Wrong because it’s factually incorrect. I should have said, ‘Let’s impeach the daughter-fucker.’ I promised my constituents I’d tell the truth every chance I got, and the truth is, he fucks his daughter, not his mother. Though something tells me if we dug up that racist bag of bones and unwrapped her corpse from the confederate flag she was draped in, that doddering old piece of shit would probably try to bang his own dead mother too.”

Before heading into the grocery store, Tlaib made sure to say she was “not going to back down or feel bad” about anything she just said.

“Contrary to what our tiny-handed, betoadstooled cocked president wants to believe, I have freedom of speech protections, despite my skin being brown,” Tlaib said. “So, I stand by every word I just said, and if you give me an hour or so, I’ll come back out and give you another heaping helping of it.”

The White House could not be reached for comment.

Another Story: Racist Woman Tired Of Being Called Racist For Supporting A Racist President

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because they have a definition of hate speech that includes “calling Ann Coulter the C-word.”

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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