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Monday, June 5, 2023

Cruz: “The Biden Rule Only Applies to Black Democrat Presidents”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — If one goes looking for the so-called “Biden Rule” in the United States Constitution, they’ll spend a lot of time, but ultimately come up empty. That’s because, for some reason, the Constitution’s authors didn’t give explicit permission to the Senate to hold a Supreme Court seat vacant indefinitely if it arises during an election year. Because the Founders so cluelessly didn’t give the Senate the right to block a Supreme Court nomination in perpetuity, however, the savvy political genius of Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was needed to write and enforce the Biden Rule.

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Written during 2016, when Justice Antonin Scalia died, the Biden Rule states that the Senate shall not take up any Supreme Court nominations in an election year, as McConnell argued that the American people should have a say in choosing who gets to make the nomination. Or, rather, that was the interpretation of the Biden Rule that most Americans were operating under until Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg died last week.

There are currently less than 45 days until the 2020 general election is held. Polling shows President Donald Trump trailing. Yet, any arguments that the Senate should delay confirming Ginsburg’s replacement are being scoffed at by prominent Republicans, like the ones who claimed four years ago that former President Obama was a lame duck back then and not entitled to replace scalia.

This weekend, Senator Ted Cruz (R-Trump’s Taint), who is on the president’s pre-announced shortlist of candidates to replace Justice Ginsburg, indicated that he sees things much differently now than he did in 2016.

This afternoon, Senator Cruz gave an interview on WKKK-AM to Chip Chatterly, a conservative talk radio host. In perhaps the most blunt and honest terms yet, Cruz explained that “while it may look like [he is] a hypocrite,” he sees “major and obvious differences between Trump and Obama” that allow him to support Trump filling a vacancy he would never let Obama fill.

“Chip, everyone’s got this whole thing twisted, and they’re only viewing this through their own biases,” Cruz explained. “Put quite simply, the Biden Rule only applies to black Democrat presidents. If it applied to orange Republican ones, it’d be a different story. But the fact remains, and this will be true no matter how the Antifa George Soros left feels about it, only black Democrats are subject to the biden rule.”

Cruz did think of an exception to the Biden Rule, though.

“Oh, I suppose if it’s a white Democrat I’d feel the same way. Or a black Republican,” Cruz started laughing uncontrollably. “I mean, if the Republicans nominated and elected a black man, he’d be able to confirm a justice to the Supreme Court in an election year.”

Senator Cruz continued to laugh for a solid four minutes.

“I’m sorry, Chip, it’s just so funny, the thought of us electing a black,” Cruz said, “as president. While we’re still trying to carry southern states. Sometimes I crack myself up, Chip. I really do.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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