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Monday, February 6, 2023

Cruz: “Donald Trump Understood That The Constitution is For Cucks”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This weekend Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) appeared on CNN and divulged that former Trump Justice Department Officials testified before the Senate and gave explosive reports of just how hard the one-term, twice-permanently impeached reality-TV game show host tried to overturn his loss to Joe Biden. One of Trump’s most loyal defenders took to Fox News this morning to attempt damage control.

“Look, we can get into all kinds of discussions about what’s legal for a president to do, and what’s not,” Cruz said, “but we all know the formula is simple — anything Democrat presidents do? Bad. Anything Republican presidents do? Perfect.”

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Cruz accused Democrats of trying to sully Trump’s reputation before the 2024 election. He lambasted for them for “insisting presidents shouldn’t try to destroy the country they’re leading.” He went so far as to even attack the Founders and the Constitution, calling them “extremely and clearly biased against Donald John Trump.”

“They’re afraid of him. That’s what this is about,” Cruz insisted. “They know Donald Trump understood the Constitution is for cucks, and that real defenders of democracy ignore elections when their feelings hurt badly enough.”

Cruz indicated he intends to work with Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) to file the necessary paperwork to impeach “anybody and everybody who had a hand in drafting the Constitution.”

“By creating a framework of rules that made it impossible for Donald Trump to stay on the throne, they attacked the true heart of American democracy,” Cruz said, “namely, having a Republican president at all times. Therefore, we should impeach anybody and everybody who had a hand in drafting the Constitution.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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