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Friday, January 27, 2023

Graham Says House Managers ‘Better Prove Monica Was Blowing Trump’ Soon

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Back when House Republicans impeached former President William Jefferson Clinton, Sen. Lindsey Graham (Q-SC), then a member of the House Republican caucus, was one of the impeachment managers. At the heart of that impeachment was whether Clinton had lied under oath about a sexual dalliance he had outside the bonds of marriage, but inside the friendly confines of the Oval Office.

After a couple of days of testimony in the second impeachment trial of Barack Obama’s white collar criminal successor to the presidency, Graham was pilloried on Twitter when he insisted that the number of Republican senators voting “not guilty” was probably increasing after the House manager’s presented their case. Graham went further and called the House manager’s presentation “offensive and absurd.”

This morning, just before going into the Senate chamber to hear a third day of presentations against the former president, Graham gave more insights into his thinking. He explained with more detail why he “isn’t buying” anything the House managers are presenting. Ultimately, he said it comes down to a “comparison of values” and he’s comparing this impeachment to the one he prosecuted.

MORE: Lindsey Graham Insists Conviction in Second Impeachment Won’t Remove Him From Trump’s Rectum

“The bottom line here is something I think is very simple. They haven’t proven a damn thing that was done by the former president is impeachable,” Graham said. “Not a single damn thing. And if I were on their team, which I am clearly not, I would tell them they better hurry up and prove Monica was blowing Trump, or they’re kaput.”

Sen. Graham made sure to state, however, that “just a blowjob” isn’t enough to impeach a former president, or a sitting one for that matter.

“Now, let me clear though, that a president getting a hummer in the Oval isn’t the issue,” Graham forced a laugh, “because if it were, Devin, Jim Jordan, Matt Gaetz, and me would have gotten Trump impeached three years ago.”

MORE: Mitch McConnell Buys Aunt Jemima Syrup But Puts the Bottle in the Back of the Cart

 

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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