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Saturday, April 1, 2023

Hannity Asks Why Biden Didn’t Do More to Stop 400k Americans From Dying Last Year

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — If one were looking for signs that the right-wing media sphere has begun to process what life will be like with Joe Biden as president, they wouldn’t have to look much farther than Sean Hannity.

On his radio show this morning, Hannity spent just one hour praising the former president, calling him “the finest insurrectionist in chief” the country has had “since Jeff Davis lived in the first Southern White House.” However, for the remaining two hours of his broadcast today, Hannity laced into President Biden. In particular, Hannity asked his audience why Biden “hadn’t lifted a finger” or “done a hell of a lot more” to stop 400,000 Americans dying from covid-19 or related issues last year.

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“Folks, Joe Biden has been in office for not quite twenty-four hours and 400,000 Americans have died from covid-19,” Hannity barked. “You tell me if you think it’s related. But I sure as heck think might be. He gets sworn in as president, and the same day we find out 400,000 Americans have died from the CHINA virus?!”

Hannity believes that the Republican Party needs to focus on retaking the House and Senate so that Biden can be impeached for his role in the American death toll.

“Now, liberals are going to pull some crap and say that he wasn’t president yet and that somehow it means it was our Dear Former President’s responsibility,” Hannity moaned. “I have to say that you should probably just open hand smack them in the mouth when they say that. Because I don’t have a logical argument or counterpoint to that, which triggers my basic conservative male rage, and makes me all punchy-punchy!”

As he finished his tirade about Biden’s culpability for the COVID-19 death toll thus far, Hannity gave his audience an update on a medical issue he said he was having in yesterday’s show.

“I also just wanted to take this time to give you all some more news about my mouth,” Hannity said. “The doctors told me that it is very likely stuck like this, but that I should expect the orange stain to wear off in the usual time it takes a spray tan to fade.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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