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Sunday, September 25, 2022

Hillary Says She Can Coach Meadows and Bannon Through Their Fear of Giving Congressional Testimony

Former Secretary of State, Senator, and First Lady Hillary Clinton offered to help two men overcome their fears and anxiety, in order to provide testimony to the House January 6th Special Select Committee. Clinton, who famously gave more than eleven hours of testimony to a House oversight panel during the Obama administration, said during a radio interview that she can “understand” why Steve Bannon and Mark Meadows might be nervous about testifying, but that she can help them get over those fears before they testify.

“Of course, the thing is, I was less nervous about my Benghazi testimony because I knew I’d be telling the truth. Knowing how much lying they’d have to do, I understand why Mark and Steve might be extra worried,” Clinton told NPR’s Ashton Willoughsby.

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Bannon, a past adviser to twice-permanently impeached former President Trump, and Meadows — who was Trump’s last chief of staff — have both been subpoenaed by the January 6th committee. A federal judge has set a July 2022 trial date for Bannon’s criminal contempt charges, and Meadows now faces the same charges.

“It’s funny, I never had that much trepidation or worry about my testimony. I figured that I’d just go and tell the truth and let the cards fall where they may,” Clinton explained.

Clinton said she does feel some sympathy for Bannon and Meadows.

“So I guess on some level I can understand why Mark and Steve would be feeling a little differently. Everyone knows that they’d be stuck with two choices — tell the truth, or make Don Trump happy. And since lying under oath would send them to jail, lock them up, to use a turn of phrase I recall quite well, it’s quite understandable why they’d be looking to get out of it.”

Ms. Clinton said that she found herself still surprised at how hard Bannon and Meadows have fought to delay their testimony.

“I guess I just thought Mark and Steve weren’t such soyboy beta cucks, but the good news for them is I’m here to help. All they need to do is reach out and ask me.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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