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Friday, February 3, 2023

Hillary Clinton Is Circling Ivanka Trump’s House Shouting “Lock Her Up”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Authorities and eyewitnesses close to the situation are confirming at the time of publication that former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has been circling the D.C. area home of First Daughter-lady Ivanka Trump, shouting at the house as she circles the block.

“Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up,” Hillary is repeatedly yelling. “Isn’t that how it goes, Vanky Baby? I want to make sure I’m getting the pronunciation right.”

On Monday, The Washington Post published a bombshell report that Ms. Trump has repeatedly used personal email accounts when conducting both personal and government business. The issue of Clinton’s use of a private email server during her tenure at the State department was a central point of non-stop, blistering criticism from Ivanka’s father-lover during his 2016 presidential bid. Reportedly, within moments of The Post’s story breaking, Ms. Clinton was in her late model sedan, barreling down the highway from upstate New York down the nation’s capital.

“Hey! Hey Vanky! Did Guccifer help you hide those emails, or did WikiLeaks do it for you by themselves,” Hillary can be heard chiding Ms. Trump. “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

It’s unclear at this time whether Ivanka’s use of a personal email server violated any laws or if it points more simply to unapologetic hypocrisy from the Trump camp. None of that seems to be on Clinton’s mind at the moment, as she’s just simply circling Ivanka’s house over and over, coming up with new ways to tease and mock the First Incestuous Woman.

“Ivanka! Hey Ivanka! I’ve got a deal for you,” Hillary was heard shouting. “You can stay out of jail if you send your first nose in to serve your time for you! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

This is a developing story.

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, Not Really.NewsThe Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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