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Thursday, June 1, 2023

Ivanka’s ‘Getting Used to Having Daddy’s Subpoenas’ Waved In Her Face

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The New York Attorney General has issued subpoenas to two of former one-term, twice forever impeached President Don Trump’s children in connection to their investigation of the Trump Organization. Despite the fact that getting a court summons and a demand to appear might be off-putting for some, former First Lady Ivanka Trump told Fox News this morning that she isn’t concerned about the subpoenas she was just served.

“Well, Tomi, obviously this latest round of subpoenas is another political hit job on President Daddy. So, I really don’t look at them as my subpoenas. They’re President Daddy’s subpoenas, actually,” Ivanka explained, “and I’m used to having Daddy’s subpoenas waved in my face.”

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Ms. Trump acknowledged that she has been the recipient of several subpoenas on behalf of her father. Over time, she’s “developed a thick skin” for them. Now, she says, she laughs about all the subpoenas her father has forced on her.

“You know, there are just some things that are the cost of doing business, and there are others that are the cost of doing organized crime. Subpoenas come with the territory, and quite frankly, Tomi, I’ll be glad to take as much of Daddy’s subpoenas as I can stomach,” Ivanka promised.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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