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Monday, June 5, 2023

Kelly Sadler and Roseanne Barr Launch “Klassic Konfederate Komedy Tour”

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA — Today, comedians Kelly Sadler and Roseanne Barr held a press conference in the Confederate Nation’s capital, announcing they’d be taking their two-woman comedy show to a red state near you this Fall.

They’re calling it the “Klassic Konfederate Komedy Tour,” and the two women will crisscross the states that left the union to preserve slavery as well as a handful of states that went for President Trump in 2016 but weren’t officially states in the 19th century. Sadler and Barr will trade off opener and headliner duties. The decision on where to tour was based mainly on “exit polling and white sheet sales figures,” Barr said.

“I have to admit that when my joke leaked I thought my career was over, not just in politics but in showbiz,” Sadler said. “Luckily, Roseanne reached out to me and said she thought we’d make a pretty killer pair, and asked me if I wanted to go on tour with her.”

Barr says she got a call from a “good pal” before she made the offer to Sadler, and that her friend agreed to bankroll the tour.

“We’re, like, super duper stoked and happy that Steve Bannon reached out and offered to pay for this tour, okay? And we’re just, like, so thrilled to be working together,” Barr told reporters.

Over the last few weeks, both Sadler and Barr have found themselves in hot water for jokes they’ve made. Barr was just famously fired from the new run of her old show “Roseanne” because of her racist joke about former Obama administration official Valerie Jarrett. Sadler was blindsided with negative press after a joke she made about John McCain’s upcoming scheduled cessation of breathing due to the brain cancer he’s fighting currently. ABC acted quickly, firing Ms. Barr within hours of her tweet being sent, regardless of whether she deleted it. However, the Trump administration was slower to respond, and only fired Sadler yesterday, despite the joke leaking weeks ago.

“Clearly we’re the best of what conservative comedy has to offer,” Sadler said, “and we think there’s an audience of at least six or seven people out there who think we’re absolutely hilarious.”

Understanding that a large, national tour is a lot to undertake, Sadler and Barr say they’ve enlisted the help of a fellow conservative comedian.

“We’ve invited Dennis Miller along and we can’t wait for when he joins us half-way through,” Barr said. “He has to do that because he said he has to work on some new material and he’s still stuck on the Michelle Wolf jokes he promised us a month and a half ago.”

Tickets for the Klassic Konfederate Komedy Tour will go on sale later this week.

James‘ satire is found on: The Political Garbage Chute; HuffPostAlternative Science, Alternative Facts, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts, and Modern Liberals

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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