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Thursday, June 1, 2023

Trump To House Children Of Illegal Immigrants In New Kinder Koncentration Kamps

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump is reportedly close to finalizing a plan to house the children of undocumented immigrants in new, specially built camp sites.

The issue of immigration has long been one that Mr. Trump has relied on to rile up support among his base. The president entered 2016’s presidential election famously deriding Mexico for “not sending their best,” while implying that most Mexican immigrants are criminals. This weekend, the immigration issue boiled over when media outlets erroneously ran photos from Homeland Security’s 2014 response to a massive spike in unattended undocumented children crossing the southern border but attributing them to preparations undertaken by the Trump administration.

Mr. Trump seized on the media’s gaffe, and has used it as a cudgel on Twitter this morning to bash them.

Reportedly, Trump’s Department of Homeland Security was already considering housing children they separate from parents who cross the border into the country illegally on military bases. Now word is that they will not only seek to house them on the base, but in brand new camps designed specifically for the purpose of keeping the children pooled in a few places, away from the military bases.

As reported by a CBS affiliate, DHS is searching for suitable bases in two key red states, both of which went for Trump in 2016.

One official said the department is looking at four bases in Texas and Arkansas. The officials discussed the plan Tuesday on condition of anonymity because it has not been made public or made final. (source)

“We would still be looking to build our Kinder Koncentration Kamps in the Texarkana region,” Roger Leary, DHS deputy spokesman, told us. “There’s plenty of unused land there to house the adorable little dirty Mexican criminals.”

Should DHS be unable to secure the empty land needed to build their new camps, Leary says there are contingency plans in place.

“We’ll just use Obama’s old gay marriage and gun confiscation relocation camps that he had FEMA set up,” Leary said. “Boy is it convenient that our last president was a power hungry madman hell bent on imprisoning conservative patriot Americans but couldn’t ever make it work because of the tireless efforts of woke Republicans. Because we have all these empty FEMA camps that aren’t forcing gay marriage on anyone anyway.”

Buy this shirt and help us feed these kids that won’t keep bothering us about eating.

James‘ satire is also found on:
Alternative Facts
Alternative Science,
The Political Garbage Chute
The Pastiche Post
Satirical Facts

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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