WASHINGTON, D.C. — Representatives from Congresspony Marjorie Taylor Greene’s office have confirmed that as of publication of this article she is “resting at a nearby stable facility” and quickly later clarified “that means she is literally sleeping in a stable, as all horses do.” Rep. Greene, less than hour ago, was fished out of a D.C. area sewage treatment facility after a janitor working at the House of Representatives accidentally flushed her down one of the capitol toilets.
Capitol management has already issued an apology to Greene for the mishap, but has also indicated the employee who flushed her down the toilet will not face an disciplinary action as a result.
“One of the policy changes implemented in the wake of the Trump Steak of Insurrections was asking our janitorial team to immediately dispose of any fecal matter they come upon on the capitol grounds,” a written statement from the Capitol Bureau of Cleaning Up Shit states. “Our team will be reminded, however, that they should first ascertain if the fecal matter they are flushing is sentient, as Congresspony Greene is not the only Republican they work around on a daily basis.”
Rep. Greene’s office promised more updates as her condition warrants.
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.