59.5 F
Los Angeles
Tuesday, June 6, 2023

McConnell Warns Democrats Not to Change the Filibuster Like He Changed the Filibuster

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In order to push Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch onto the high court’s bench, then Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-KY) personally spearheaded the charge.  McConnell convinced his fellow Republicans to make a rule change, bypassing the filibuster.

However, talks of Democrats doing essentially the same thing in order to pass voting rights legislation would be “literally the worst action ever perpetrated on the Senate floor,” McConnell said in remarks to reporters this morning.

Ivanka’s ‘Getting Used to Having Daddy’s Subpoenas’ Waved In Her Face

“Changing the filibuster is a dangerous thing. It sets a very dangerous precedent. It’s extremely radical, you see,” McConnell explained. “Which is why I only trust we Republicans to do it. I must warn my Democrat colleagues on the other side of the aisle that if they change the filibuster, there’s no telling what I’ll do in response and then criticize them for doing as well.”

Sen. McConnell warned Democrats that if they alter the filibuster rules for voting rights, and if Republicans take control of the Senate this fall, he will punish them by “doing nakedly political things in retaliation.”

“So, in other words, I’ll behave the same way I behaved when we were in the majority before,” McConnell said solemnly, rubbing some coal on his penis as he spoke. “If they’re not careful, they’ll end up forcing me to do something I was already planning to do anyway.”

Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
Latest news
Related news


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.



Popular categories