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Saturday, April 1, 2023

Liar Makes Truly Idiotic Claim About Crises During Crybaby Sore Loser’s Presidency

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Appearing on Fox News today, known liar and moron Kayleigh McEnany, former Press Secretary to Donald John Trump, doubled-down on recent criticisms she’s had of President Joe Biden and the withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan.

“President King God Emperor Trump shat ice cream — that I ate personally and found QUITE delicious — every single day. He also bowled sixteen perfect games and got two hundred holes-in-one during his presidency,” McEnany claimed, “and he could do that because he was smart enough to make his presidency one long, never-ending crisis, instead of having these little soyboy beta cuck crises Sleepy Joe’s putting us through.”


McEnany’s continued attacks on Biden came after she made the rather curious claim that during her former boss’s tenure in office, the administration didn’t lurch from “crisis after crisis.” However, during Trump’s presidency, there were several crises, including two impeachments, an insurrection, and a global pandemic that decimated the country’s economy.

“When President Trump was president, you didn’t see crisis after crisis,” she said on Tuesday. “You just didn’t see it.”

A clip capturing the comment was posted to Twitter and went viral, leading to an array of reactions. Several detractors opined the Trump administration was a continuous crisis, in their view. (Yahoo! News)

Experts in the fields of reality and truth note that McEnany has, historically, not had a very good relationship with either.

“Kayleigh was the mouthpiece of administration that lied about everything and anything, and then pretended crises didn’t exist, or would go away with time or bleach injections,” Dr. Kathy Caspar of the University of Northwest Idaho, a professor of reality, told us. “So I would say it might be wise to take her words on the subject of crisis management with enough grains of salt to block the Panama Canal.”

The World Irony Federation has announced that McEnany’s comments may “threaten the planet’s supply of irony and pathos” for quite some time.

“Every time she opens her word and kissing Trump’s taint hole, she says stuff so ironic it could wipe out the planet’s stockpiles of irony,” the WIF wrote in a statement. “We hope, for the sake of comedy and satire that never changes. For the sake of humanity, we hope she fucks off to another planet sometime soon.”


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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