WASHINGTON, D.C. — How long is it going to take President Donald Trump to accept facts, and acknowledge that after last month’s election he’s now a one-term, permanently impeached, outgoing, lame duck president? With under 30 days left in office, that’s question we don’t seem to be any closer to answering.
Just this week, rumors are that Trump’s most loyal and devoted lapdogs in Congress have been meeting at the White House, discussing plans to object to certifying the Electoral College results on January 6th. That will be the last time anyone has any legal tools at their discretion to overturn the election and keep Joe Biden from taking the oath of office. However, scholars and historians note that this gambit, like the more than 50 lawsuits that have been tossed from all levels of the judicial system, is doomed to fail.
So if there really is nothing left to do but sit, and wait, how long will the country be treated to a non-stop whine fest on the president’s Twitter account and in public statements? According to Barbie McDitzydick, his press secretary who will soon need to hit the unemployment line herself, the whining will not stop for the balance of time Trump is president. In fact, McDitzydick insisted to reporters that he is “entitled to whine about being a loser” to the very minute before Biden is sworn-in.
“The Constitution is very clear. There is only one president at a time,” McDitzydick opined on Fox News this morning, “and right now, God King Emperor Donald Trump is that president. As such, he has a whole bevy of things he’s entitled to, and whining about losing a free and fair election is one of those things.”
When asked by one of the brainless automatons hosting the show just how long Trump plans to whine, McDitzydick hedged away from giving a definitive answer, but did imply it could a few more weeks, if not more.
“President Trump is entitled to whine about being a loser right up until 11:59 AM on January 20th,” McDitzydick explained, “but we have all seen this man’s courage and outside-the-box thinking. He may just decide to ignore the Constitution, as his is right, and continue to whine about this election until the day he dies. He may whine about it from beyond the grave. He may be whining about it to Satan when he finally gets to his soul’s eternal resting place, but no liberal on the AOC Antifa Squad is going to stop him from whining about it, I can tell you that might much.”
Donald Trump never won the popular vote and is the candidate to receive the most number of votes against him in history, when his two presidential runs are considered together. Joe Biden will become president on January 20th, 2021.
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.