Sunday, April 18, 2021

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White Collar Criminal Wants Credit for Vaccine for Disease He Said Would Go Away In Weeks

In a statement on phony presidential letterhead, a white collar criminal demanded credit for the covid-19 vaccine.

What makes this demand so newsworthy is that the former reality-TV game show host in question wants Americans to credit him for the vaccine, despite the fact that he never really took the novel coronavirus seriously, even after he contracted it, had to be hospitalized, and was nearly put on a ventilator. By the end of his term, as it was becoming increasingly clear that his gassy sexual predator lawyer and the rat faced scarecrow Sidney Powell would not be able to steal the election for him, the tiny-handed daughter luster all but gave up on even caring about the country’s fight against covid.

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“I hope everyone remembers when they’re getting the COVID-19 (often referred to as the China Virus) Vaccine, that if I wasn’t President, you wouldn’t be getting that beautiful ‘shot’ for 5 years, at best, and probably wouldn’t be getting it at all,” the white collar criminal’s statement reads.

On the Hill, the demand for credit was met with enthusiasm from former President Toadstool Dong’s supporters. Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-FL) told reporters “every American should bow down and lick the man’s taint” like he does. Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-TX) called it a “sinful outrage that liberals are not worshiping the ground this man walks on,” and also reiterated that his wife Heidi “remains ugly as ever.”

Some, however, did not feel like the white collar criminal should get credit for the vaccine.

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“I mean, if bleach and ended up being an effective cure, then maybe we could give him credit for that,” Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez told reporters, “but this guy asking for credit for the vaccine is like a drunk pilot asking for credit for this co-pilot landing the plane safely.”

MORE: Q-Believers Now Say Trump Will Become the 19th President on March 35th, 2235


 

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

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