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Thursday, September 21, 2023

President Trump Promises Peaceful Transfer of Power to John Barron, David Dennison, or Bobby Putin

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, President Donald Trump caused quite a commotion when he refused to tell a reporter that he’d promise to transfer power peacefully to former Vice President Joe Biden, should he lose to the Democratic candidate in November. Asked directly by reporter Brian Karem whether he’d commit to a peaceful transfer of power, an absolute hallmark of American presidential administrations, Trump not only refused to, he also implied that he will contest the election because of the use of mail-in ballots.

RELATED: Remembering When Obama Wouldn’t Commit to a Peaceful Transfer of Power and Republicans Were Like, “Meh.”

Watch President Trump’s answer to Karem’s question on the peaceful transfer of power, below:

Trump’s answer drew sharp rebuke from Democrats and members of the press. But it also brought some mild pushback from some Republicans as well. The daughter of Liz Cheney, daughter of former Vice President Dick Palpatine Cheney tweeted her criticism of Trump’s rhetoric, but stopped well-short of mentioning him by name. Cheney’s tweet is seen below.

During today’s White House press briefing, Press Secretary Barbie McDitzydick said that Trump would accept the results of a “free and fair election,” without actually saying what, exactly, Trump considers to be free or fair. The “peaceful transfer of power” between two presidential administrations has been a vital part of the American system of government from the very beginning. Even during times of great political animus and rancor, the opposing parties have managed the hand over control of the White House without conflict.

Even though McDitzydick didn’t give a very clear answer as to what she or the president would say a free and fair election looked like, President Trump wasn’t done talking about the subject. Later in the day, he was seen strolling around the White House grounds. When asked, Trump said he was “letting out the stinkies” after he’d eaten a lunch high in fiber and fried meats. He agreed to talk to reporters and shout at them for a bit.

“You know what? You people just are absolutely crazy. Of course I’ll make sure the transfer of power is peaceful, or whatever it is you call it,” Trump said. “As long as the election is run the way I demand, has the result I require, everything will be fine! But, let me make sure this is totally clear. I will peacefully transfer my God-like powers peacefully, without any fight or court battle even, to John Barron, David Dennison, or even my friend you all have never met because he doesn’t go to school here, Bobby Putin.”

Trump scratched his butt.

“So yeah, if I lose to one of them, no problem, I’ll transfer power super-duper peaceful-like,” Trump assured the reporters. “Otherwise? We’ll see. We’ll see.”

The president farted a long, steady stream of farts as he trundled off back inside the White House, teetering a bit on his six inch heel.

MORE: Romney’s Got Binders Full of Excuses for Being a Partisan Cocksock

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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