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Monday, June 5, 2023

Trump Supporter Wonders If Bangladesh Is Added To Muslim Ban List Will NYC Bombing Will Be Erased From Time

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and local moron Jethro Bohiggins knows one thing about terrorism.

“Trump’s Muslim ban is literally the only way we can help stop terror attacks,” Bohiggins told listeners to his most recent podcast episode. “So that’s why I’m a little confused as to why the Muslim ban didn’t stop the attacker in New York City this morning, fam.”

Jethro was alluding to the attempted bombing of the Port Authority in New York City, earlier this morning. 27 year old Bangladeshi immigrant Akayed Ullah was arrested shortly after he allegedly attempted to detonate a pipe bomb in the Port Authority. Reportedly, authorities believe the bomb he made, which he claimed to make while working at the electric company, exploded prematurely, which is just three people were injured, and none fatally.

Ullah is believed to be behind the explosion the police think was caused by a pipe bomb in a passageway linking the Port Authority and Times Square subway stations in midtown Manhattan. Numerous reports in the news media suggested the bomb may have exploded prematurely. (Business Insider)

Mr. Bohiggins is confused, he told his podcast audience, as to why the attack happened at all.

“Last week the Supreme Court allowed our Dear President’s Muslim ban to go into full effect,” Jethro said. “I thought this was a Muslin ban, but apparently it’s limited to only certain countries like the cucked policy it is!”

During the segment on the bombing, Jethrow floated one idea he had come up with in the shower that he feels might not only prevent future attacks, but also, potentially, erase the Port Authority bombing from the space time continuum.

“What if we just sneak in there and add Bangladesh to the Muslim ban? Won’t that just wipe it off the space time continuum thingy,” Jethro asked his audience. “I was thinkin’ it’d work like Back to the Future, fam.”

The Jethro Bohiggins Podcast can be found on iTones, Poodcaster, and wherever racist dog whistles are heard.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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