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Thursday, September 21, 2023

Trump Asks Treasury to Print a Few Million Bucks He Can Take Home After Leaving Office

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Whether or not he states it publicly, it seems that privately outgoing President Donald Trump has started to accept his eventual fate, and has begun making arrangements for life after leaving office. Reportedly, those preparations included trying to set up a little extra financial security for the president and his family, and reports are that he asked Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin for a “special, personal favor” to that end.

“Last week, President Trump reached out to Secretary Mnuchin and asked him for a special, personal favor,” Press Secretary Barbie McDitzydick admitted to reporters this morning on the White House lawn, “and as he is entitled to do as president, he asked if there was any way the Treasury Department could just print up a few million extra bucks he could take home back to Florida, if he decides to let the results of the election stand, and leaves office.”

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Heretofore, the lame duck president hasn’t made it clear whether he intends to leave the White House after Joe Biden is sworn in on January 20th, 2021. Asking the Treasury Department to print him some money to have at a later date would certainly seem like some to be a tacit admission of his loss, however McDitzydick threw some cold water on that theory almost right away.

“No, I wouldn’t say this is a sign that he’s accepted that he lost. What a horrible question, and you should probably be shot for treason just for asking it,” McDitzydick said, “I would just remind you, sirs and madams, that this president commits and will continue to commit self-enriching, illegal acts all the time, and you have no way of proving that the he asked Mnuchin for this favor for any other reason than he’s just a run of the mill greedy pig whore, thank you very much.”

The Treasury Department has not indicated one way or the other if they will agree to Trump’s request. The Constitution does not give the president the right to have money printed for his own use, however McDitzydick said that her boss isn’t very concerned about “so-called legalities or whatever.” She said Trump will “very likely get his cash” one way or the other.

“It’s been a four year joyride trampling every single norm, every single law, and every single obstacle in the way of him doing whatever he wanted,” McDitzydick said, “so why should that change just because he may not be president for more than a month now?”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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