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Alabama Teen Sent to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Babies In Her Eye

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COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in the urgent care facility at First United Baptist Methodist Hospital of Lower South...

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

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LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Pro-life Republicans in the State of Alabama have been steadily attacking the rights of women in their...

Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s...

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BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model Jeff Sessions held one of Alabama's two seats in the U.S. Senate for...

Trump Hereby Orders Every State to Change Its Name to “Alabama”

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The other 49 states in the union have exactly one week to "do whatever bullshit their constitutions require" that will change...

Poll Says Majority of Americans Approve of Aborting Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, and Ohio

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Back in May, four red states adopted new, extremely harsh bans on abortion within their borders. Republican lawmakers in Alabama, Missouri, Georgia, and Ohio...

Alabama Republicans Hold Citizenship Ceremony for ‘Fetal Americans’

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INBRED MOUNTAIN, ALABAMA -- Republicans in Alabama held a special ceremony this morning that they say made every fetus currently residing in the Yellowhammer...

Alabama Decriminalizes Rape To Keep More Families Together

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PALPATINE FOREST, ALABAMA -- In a truly unforeseen turn of events down in the Yellowhammer State, the Alabama government has decriminalized rape. "In point of...

Alabama Democrats Want a 72-Hour Waiting Period on Incestuous Sex

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FORT COQ DU CHAMPIGNON VÉNÉNEUX, ALABAMA -- In response to Republicans in their state legislature passing one of the most restrictive abortion bans since...

Alabama GOP Demands “Arthur” Air Episode Where He Marries His Sister

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BAISEURS DE COUSIN EN ARRIÉRE PARISH, ALABAMA -- On May 13th, 2019, PBS aired the season premiere of "Arthur," a long-running children's animated program...

Alabama Rape Victim Uses Legally Obtained AR-15 to Perform Own Abortion

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LAGO DEL DESESPERACIÓN, ALABAMA -- In March, 28 year old nurse and Alabama resident Jane Sampson was raped while walking home after working a late...