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Paul Ryan Researched How to Sneak Ambien Into Big Macs After Trump’s 2016 Victory

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According to newly published reports, Donald Trump's election in 2016 blindsided former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) so much that he researched...

Twitter Tells Trump He Can Have His Account Back

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SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Last week, former one term, twice-forever impeached President Donald J. Trump filed paperwork in court demanding that social media...

TX Man Unsure Whether to Let Cousin Die From Complications or Sue Her For...

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SHITLIP, TEXAS -- Bill Williamson has found himself in some rather unforeseen circumstances before, but he told us during a recent Skype interview that...

Milley Advised China to Send McNuggets to the White House to Appease Trump

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During the final days of the Trump administration, a new book reveals that Retired Gen. Mark Milley, Joint Chiefs of Staff, went around the...

David Koch’s Estate Sale to Include Several Republican Politicians

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GALT, KANSAS -- Billionaire industrialist and Republican mega-donor David Koch passed away after a long battle with prostate cancer, the family announced this morning....

Jim Jordan Legally Changes Name To “Gym Paterno” To Avoid Scandal

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is no longer a congressman named Rep. Jim Jordan, who is from Ohio, and is under intense scrutiny for a...

Citing Budget Deficit, Trump Enacts Tariff On Free Speech

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump issued an executive order today that placed a steep 1488% tariff on free speech, with very few carve...

President Hillary Clinton Officially Pardons Herself For Benghazi, Emails, Secret Assassinations

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BIZARRO WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, in the Alternate White House, Alternative President Hillary Rodham Clinton made history yet again as she became the...

House Republican Wants Congressional Inquiry Into Whether Hillary ‘Did a Benghazi’ On Trump Tower

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WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning a congressional Republican told reporters he planned to petition Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) to open a...