James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Party of Lincoln Outraged People Keep Pulling Down Statues of His Enemies

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Most every American can name its 16th president. That’s because he ...

DNC Encourages Trump Supporters to Boycott Elections With Mail-in Ballots

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democratic National Committee is urging Trump supporters who don’t feel ...

Pence: “We Flattened the Curve. We Saved Lives. Iraq had WMD. 2+2=Ketchup.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a press conference last week, Vice President Mike Pence caused ...

Rand Paul to Filibuster Bubba Wallace’s Last Lap

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Rand Paul (R-The Kremlin) has announced that he plans to ...

To End Abortion, President Trump Bans Pregnancy Tests

WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of President Trump’s most loyal bases of support comes from ...

Trump Claims Support of the Silent But Deadly Majority

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It might be hard for Americans to believe, but President Donald ...