James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

White House Urges Americans to Perform Nightly Under-Bed Antifa Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With so many challenges already facing Americans these days, the Donald ...

White House: Hospitals Must Send COVID-19 Data to Trump’s AOL Account

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new presidential edict signed just this morning, hospitals ...

Incoherent Idiot Wastes Hour of Everyone’s Life Reminding Them Why They Should Vote for Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a nearly hour-long, oftentimes rambling, mostly incoherent rant, a massive ...

Betsy Devos: “Some People Are Too Poor to Know When It’s Safe to Send Their Kids to School”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Education Secretary Betsy Devos told members of the educational community on ...

Roger Stone Shows Off New Trump Tramp Stamp Prison Tattoo

MILHOUSE, FLORIDA — Just outside a diner about fifteen minutes from his home, Roger ...

Let These White Sports Fans Show You The RIGHT Way to Use The First Amendment

The Constitution's First Amendment is much like many things in America. It's best understood ...

Party of Lincoln Outraged People Keep Pulling Down Statues of His Enemies

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Most every American can name its 16th president. That’s because he ...