James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Prime-Time Trump Border Address Will Be Broadcast In English, Spanish, and Moron

WASHINGTON, D.C. — When President Trump delivers his prime time Oval Address on what ...

Santa Asks 58 Year Old If She Still Believes Trump is a Real President

THE NORTH POLE, EARTH — On Christmas night, President Trump raised eyebrows all over ...

Remington Introduces New Smocking Gun Marketed to Painters and Traitors

MADISON, NORTH CAROLINA — One of the world’s leading firearms manufacturers announced during an ...

Trump Signs Treaty With Obama, Officially Ending War on Christmas

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s a day that many in this country thought would never ...

Hitler’s Finally Starting To Get The Comparison

THE CHENEY WING, HELL — Some on America’s left have routinely compared the policies ...

Hillary Clinton Is Circling Ivanka Trump’s House Shouting “Lock Her Up”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Authorities and eyewitnesses close to the situation are confirming at the ...

Putin Acknowledges Midterms Are Referendum On His First Term

MOSCOW, RUSSIA — As Americans headed to the polls to cast their ballots in ...