James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Stormy Daniels To Coach Betsy DeVos Before Her Next ’60 Minutes’ Interview

BONE FERNANDO VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — In the past month, two women with close ties ...

Rick Santorum’s Froth Levels Critical After Meltdown Over March For Our Lives

COAL HOLE, PENNSYLVANIA — First responders and medical professionals in the Keystone State are ...

Bitch Kicks Dog

Over the span of her relatively short career, right-wing firebrand commentator and Nazi Barbie ...

Trump Congratulates Putin On Second Presidential Election Victory Since 2016

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Donald Trump made a call to Russian President ...

Tabasco Lahren Says The Wakanda Forever Hashtag Is ‘Just Like The KKK’

VALLE DE PUTANA RACISTA, CALIFORNIA — Today right-wing firebrand commentator Tinseltown Lahren told listeners ...