James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Offers To Grab Mitt Romney’s Binders By The Pussy

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, former Massachusetts governor, failed 2012 Republican presidential candidate, and all-around ...

President Trump Orders ‘The Dictionary’ To Change Definition Of Treason

WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Donald Trump issued an executive order from within ...