James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Trump Blames Democrats for Impeaching Him Instead of Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump and his most vocal supporters in the media ...

White House to Begin Reporting Coronavirus and Democrat Hoax Deaths Separately

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration has made the determination that it needs to ...

Gwyneth Paltrow and David Avocado Wolfe Appointed to Coronavirus Response Team

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though his administration is telling Americans that the coronavirus has been ...

Pro-Life Evangelical Christian Explains Why Grandma Has to Die to Save Boeing Stock Prices

HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA — Televangelist Bill Millen, an outspoken and devout supporter of President ...