James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

Fauci Reminds Jim Jordan to Wear a Mask and Socially Distance When Ignoring Sexual Abuse

WASHINGTON, D.C. — During one exchange between Dr. Anthony Fauci and Congressman Jim Jordan ...

Trump Demands MySpace Make Him Part of Everyone’s Top 8

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today on the Hill, a House special select subcommittee hosted executives ...

Poll: Majority of Americans Rooting for COVID-19

The office of Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Crackfiendastan) announced today that he has tested positive ...

Jim Jordan: “Bill Barr Was the Only One With The Courage to Suck Trump Off and Make Him King”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — During a fiery, hotly contested hearing of the House Judiciary Committee, ...

Trump Paid the President of Florida to Take Cognitive Test for Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sources close to the situation are reporting that President Donald Trump ...

Biden Pledges to Name Military Base Latrines After Trump Loyalists

Former Vice-President Joe Biden has announced that should he win the election this fall, ...