James Schlarmann

Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

7 Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas for 2017

With Halloween fast approaching, do you have your costume picked out? Some people buy ...

VP Pence Clarifies: “I Said I Hope All The Gays Are Well-Hung”

"I prolly think about butt sex more than people who are currently engaging in ...