Cannabis Overdoses Multiplied By Over 1,000,000% in 2018

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Institute of Drug Policy and Research teamed up with the American Academy of Medicine and conducted a yearlong study of marijuana overdoses last year. The results of the study were published this week in the Olde Scottish Journal of Medical Knowledge, and they might be quite alarming to some.

“Last year, we surveyed over 3,000 hospitals throughout the country, and asked them to provide the numbers of patients who were treated for marijuana overdose,” Dr. Helen McWilliams of the NIDPR’s media response team told reporters this morning, “as well as any who may have died as a result of complications from those overdoses. The results are quite stunning.”

Trump: Space Force Will Build Space Wall

McWilliams said that last year there was a 1,000,000% multiplication of cannabis overdoses.

“In the past twelve months, the number of reported marijuana overdoses and resulting deaths skyrocketed by a magnitude of 1,000,000%,” Dr. McWilliams said. “That means as a nation, we saw an enormous, unprecedented surge of marijuana overdoses that increased by more than a million percent over last year’s total.”

State by state, efforts have been made to decriminalize marijuana bot medicinally and recreationally. However, there has been pushback from some conservatives. Dr. McWilliams said her job isn’t to get into the “political stuff,” but instead simply to “communicate the data.”

“And the data shows that there were one million percent more marijuana overdoses last year than the previous year,” McWilliams explained, “and we simply could not consider ourselves professionals while not making the public aware of our findings.”

Dr. McWilliams tried to add even more context to the report.

“Two years ago, a certain number of people overdosed on pot,” McWilliams began, “and then, last year, that number multiplied by 1,000,000%.”

According to Dr. McWilliams, however, there is probably “not much need for alarm or concern at this time,” even with her report showing such a dramatic spike in cannabis overdoses.

“At first, when my staff communicated the findings to me, I was shocked, horrified, and extremely concerned for the future of our country,” McWilliams said, “but then they confirmed for me that any number multiplied by zero is still zero. So if you’ll excuse me now, we’re having a staff movie party, and since we’re watching Fantasia, it’s a great time for me to go smoke a bowl of some super dank shit. Toodles!”

If you or someone you know has cannabis, marijuana, pot, or weed: Please share with all of us. It’s getting crazier by the second out there.

Bloomberg Offers $500 To Any Voter Who Lets Him Stop And Frisk Them


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

 

Tags:

  • Show Comments

Ads

You May Also Like

Pentagon UFO Program Makes Trump Demand Wall Be 70 Miles High

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump broke his silence on the Pentagon’s top secret, ...

Trump Demands MySpace Make Him Part of Everyone’s Top 8

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today on the Hill, a House special select subcommittee hosted executives ...

Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Facebook and Twitter Make Him Look Attractive and Competent

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump proved his small-government, traditionally conservative values today when ...