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Trump Hires Goon to Steal Greenland From Denmark and Hide It In the Alamo Basement
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump, having been rebuffed on multiple occasions by Denmark ...
Keurig Announces Roy Moore Signature Model That Only Uses 14-Year Old Covfefe Pods
READING, MASSACHUSETTS — In 2017, coffee machine manufacturer Keurig faced steep and heavy backlash ...
Disneyland Worker Sleeping In Car Proud Of Her Employer’s Moral Stance Against James Gunn’s 10 Year Old Jokes
ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA — It’s a world of hopes of laughter, a world of fears, ...
Dana Loesch: ‘Children Should Be Shot At, But Not Heard’
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — This morning, NRA spokesterrorist Dana Loesch gave an interview to a ...
NRA Exec Just Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Dead Kids, America
FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA — As he came out of the corporate headquarters of the National ...
Disney Declined To Buy Fox News Because They Can’t Afford Upkeep On Six Fantasylands
ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA — In a deal worth more than $50 billion, Disney has acquired ...
Trump Voter Wants Taco Bell Shut Down For ‘Being Too Mexican’
"I have to settle for a Chalupa and a seven layer burrito and I ...
Conservative Startup Offering ‘Yuge’ Reward For Trading In Race, Gender, Sexual Identity Cards
National Nativism and Ammo, a new startup Bible and Constitution printing company that also ...
Chick-Fil-A Introduces New “Merry Christmas” Covfefe Cup to Compete With Starbucks
ATLANTA, GEORGIA — Fast food purveyor Chick-Fil-A announced last week that all hot or ...
Trump Supporting Podcaster Refuses To Camp Out In Front Of Best Buy Until They Rename It “White Friday”
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Jethro Bohiggins is an unabashed, self-described “lover and worshiper ...
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