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Mike Pence Explains How Ripping Wombs Out of Immigrant Women is Pro-Life and Not Permanent Abortion
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning Vice President High Priest Michael Pence was asked to ...
God Apologizes for His “Sloppy Aim”
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY — Larry “God” Schumway issued an urgent press release this ...
Mary Trump’s Book Claims Her Uncle Paid Someone Else to Take STD Tests for Him
Yesterday, a judge cleared the way for Mary Trump — niece of President Donald ...
Roger Stone Shows Off New Trump Tramp Stamp Prison Tattoo
MILHOUSE, FLORIDA — Just outside a diner about fifteen minutes from his home, Roger ...
Ivanka Had The Most Classy and Elegant Photos Taken For Father’s Day
WASHINGTON. D.C. — Pretty Much First Lady Ivanka Trump reportedly had a series of ...
Eric Trump: “Face Masks Make American Bald Eagles Cry!”
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Though America isn’t usually known to be a country ...
Skeletor Disappointed He Looks More Like Kellyanne Conway After Plastic Surgery
Editor’s note: If you find yourself offended by this story, try to remember how ...
Trump Orders Dave Chappelle Arrested for Slaying Candace Owens
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump told reporters this morning that he has directed ...
Trump Supporter Won’t Wear Mask, Seatbelt, or Condom
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — If there is one thing that represents a tyrannical ...
Satirist Beginning to Suspect He May Secretly Be a Prophet
Aspiring satirist Johnathon Flake expressed a growing conviction to friends and colleagues today that ...
