Biden Pledges to Name Military Base Latrines After Trump Loyalists

Former Vice-President Joe Biden has announced that should he win the election this fall, ...

Palpatine Blames ‘AntiSith Anarchists’ for Use of Death Star on Alderaan

CORUSCANT — In an emergency address, Emperor Sheev Palpatine confirmed that the Death Star’s ...

President Will Distribute Copies of Mary Trump’s Book at Future MAGA Rallies

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump cannot be all that thrilled about his niece ...

Poll Indicates Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice

As the election draws closer, there’s little doubt that President Donald Trump believes he’s ...

DNC Announces First Presidential Debate Between Donald Trump and Chris Wallace

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Democratic National Committee has announced the first presidential debate of ...

White House Urges Americans to Perform Nightly Under-Bed Antifa Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With so many challenges already facing Americans these days, the Donald ...

White House: Hospitals Must Send COVID-19 Data to Trump’s AOL Account

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new presidential edict signed just this morning, hospitals ...

Incoherent Idiot Wastes Hour of Everyone’s Life Reminding Them Why They Should Vote for Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a nearly hour-long, oftentimes rambling, mostly incoherent rant, a massive ...

Betsy Devos: “Some People Are Too Poor to Know When It’s Safe to Send Their Kids to School”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Education Secretary Betsy Devos told members of the educational community on ...