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Tuesday, October 3, 2023

D’Souza’s Documentary Claims 6 Trillion People Stuffed Ballots With Obama’s Birth Certificate

Right-wing media commentator, convicted felon, and manure magnate Dinesh D’Souza has a new documentary, and in it he claims to have evidence that more than six trillion “illegal Mexicans and illegal Meixcan-ish looking people” were hired by George Soros and Barack Obama to tamper with the 2020 election.

Though he does not ever come close to revealing the evidence for his claims, in 2000 Morons With IQs Under 20, D’Souza says that copies of Obama’s “real” birth certificate were stuffed into ballot envelopes all over the country. The ballot stuffing was only done in key, swing states, according to the film. In one moment, D’Souza tells his audience that he “has it on good authority” that a mythical creature was used to deliver the envelopes and copies of Obama’s Kenyan birth documents.

“General Soros and Commander Obama knew one thing for certain,” an ominous voice tells viewers, “they’d need some help from the Unicorn Express if they had any hope of stuffing all six trillion ballots with Obama’s birth certificate. So General Soros placed the call. Within 30 minutes, the Unicorn Express AND the Sasquatch Delivery Service were engaged. The ballots would be stuffed with Obama’s birth certificate, and no American patriot could stop them, thanks to the fact that Obama took away all the guns between 2009 and 2017.”

D’Souza’s film never quite explains why, exactly, Soros and Obama hatched their plan. Some theories are expounded on, but nobody allegedly involved in the conspiracy is interviewed for the film.

“Whether it was to throw true patriots off the scent, or whether it was part of a larger scheme to defraud Americans of their chance to install a reality-TV game show host as permanent king, we may never know,” the narrator concludes. “What is very clear, however, is that all good, clean, ammo hoarding, Mayo-tinted American patriots must stay vigilant, because Soros and Obama will never rest until they tear down this country…FROM WITHIN!”

@jamboschlarmbo The free market provides a way? #ubort #roevwade #prochoice #politik #politics #political #politicaltiktok #politicalsatire #politok ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on TikTok, Patreon, Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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