Kelly Sadler In Consideration To Be 2019 White House Correspondents Dinner Comedian

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House Correspondents Association has announced that Trump Administration staffer Kelly Sadler is on the official shortlist of people being considered as potential comedians for the 2019 correspondents dinner.

After a couple of weeks of backlash over comedian Michelle Wolf’s scathing routine at this year’s White House Correspondents Dinner, the WHCA said that they wanted to “assuage the fears of sensitive conservatives” while also “delivering that trademark pandering and false equivalence Americans have come to expect from the press.” In that vein, the WHCA is determining whether or not they should offer equal time for the comedian’s roast spot in the dinner’s agenda — a liberal comedian and a comedian that leans left would be hired.

That presented a problem for the WHCA, however.

“It turns out there are about four people who call themselves conservatives and comedians,” WHCA Assistant Media Liaison Chet Whistler said at a press conference today. “Half of them are busy, one is dead, and the other is Dennis Miller. We don’t think, legally speaking, he’s allowed to call himself a comedian since he hasn’t been verifiably funny in almost two decades.”

Then, an opportunity presented itself, Whistler says.

“Imagine our surprise when, less than a week after the Trump White House made such a stink about Michelle Wolf’s offensive set, word leaked out of that meeting that Ms. Sadler had told that joke about John McCain dying anyway,” Whistler said. “Talk about God closing a door and opening a window!”

It’s unclear at this time whether Sadler will end up being the conservative comedian at next year’s dinner, however, because Whistler says there’s still a lot of time between now and next year’s event.

“The way things work in that administration, someone is going to say something a million times more offensive and try to pass it off as a joke probably by the time I finish this sentence,” whistler said.

Representatives from the White House could not be reached for comment, but Ms. Sadler was spotted at The Giggling Cornhole, a D.C. area comedy club, working some new material at the open mic. It’s not been confirmed if she purchased a drink or food item to secure more stage time, as if comics have unlimited money to throw down on shitty food and watered down booze just for the pleasure of trying to make a room full of comedians who don’t want to laugh so as not to make you feel funnier than they are, or not.

This is a developing story.

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