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Tuesday, October 3, 2023

Manchin: “West Virginia Kids Told Me They Want to Breathe Dirty Air in a Broke, Disgusting State”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite polling data that shows voters in his state support it by almost a 40% margin, Sen. Joe Manchin (D?) doesn’t think the people of West Virginia want him to vote for President Biden’s Build Back Better agenda.

While many experts believe that the funds in the Build Back Better legislation could greatly improve West Virginian infrastructure and quality of life, this weekend Manchin threw cold water on it. The coal baron and senator announced, on conservative Fox News, that he could not support the package in its current state. Fellow Democrats fumed, accusing Manchin of not negotiating in good faith, as he told Fox that his mind had actually been made up weeks prior.

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Some have wondered, given the support his own constituents have for BBB, why Sen. Manchin is so stalwartly opposed to it. This morning during another interview on Fox News, Manchin gave at least some explanation. According to Sen. Manchin, it was a conversation he had with some kids in his state that made his mind for him.

“Everyone keeps talking about how much better West Virginia could be, for young West Virginians, with Build Back Better. Well, I have to tell you a story. The other day I had a focus group with kids in my state, and guess what? West Virginia kids told me the WANT to breathe dirty air in a broke, disgusting state,” Manchin divulged. “I’m sorry, but I listen to the people.”

Manchin commended the children he spoke to for “understanding the value of boot straps, even at such a young age.”

“One of the toothless little dirty-faced scamps told me that he’d rather die broke in the gutter than have clean drinking water and better schools. I respect that. I gotta tell you, I really respect that,” Manchin said.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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