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Sunday, September 25, 2022

A Complete List of Republican Interns Who Will No Longer Get Abortions After SCOTUS Shreds Roe

It seems that the nation is closer than it’s been in 50 years to allowing states to restrict access to abortion care completely.

Despite assurances to the Senate judiciary committee to the contrary, three conservative Supreme Court Justices — appointed by Donald Trump — are poised to throw out the landmark ruling that affirmed a right to a safe, legal abortion before the point of medical viability for the fetus in question. If the draft opinion written by Justice Samuel Alito is the majority opinion, after fifty years, the right to an abortion will no longer be the law of the land. It’s a mission that evangelical Americans have been on since the high court issued the opinion in 1973.

Because it’s been a policy platform plank of the Republican Party for decades, one might assume that Republican interns would be the first women who would stop undergoing abortion procedures if Roe vs. Wade is struck down. After careful examination of the data, and exhaustive research, this outlet can now publish a definitive list of the Republican interns who will no longer get an abortion, after the Supreme Court strikes down Roe.

@jamboschlarmbo #windmillcancer ♬ original sound – James Schlarmann


Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on TikTok, Patreon, Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.
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