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Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In 1862, as the country fought in pitched battle during the ...
President Trump Promises Peaceful Transfer of Power to John Barron, David Dennison, or Bobby Putin
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Yesterday, President Donald Trump caused quite a commotion when he refused ...
Remembering When Obama Wouldn’t Commit to a Peaceful Transfer of Power and Republicans Were Like, “Meh.”
Yesterday, veteran journalist Brian Karem asked President Donald Trump the kind of question that’s ...
Romney’s Got Binders Full of Excuses for Being a Partisan Cocksock
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning, President Donald Trump appeared to get his wish — ...
Mike Pence Explains How Ripping Wombs Out of Immigrant Women is Pro-Life and Not Permanent Abortion
WASHINGTON, D.C. — This morning Vice President High Priest Michael Pence was asked to ...
Barr Suggests Charging People Who Vote for Biden With Sedition
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the history of the United States, very, very few people ...
ABC Town Hall Unfairly Ambushes Dear President With Questions from American Voters
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last night, ABC hosted a town hall discussion with President Donald John Trump, ...
Newly Discovered Life on Venus Declines Offer to Be Taken to Our Leader
BLEEPBLORP, VENUS — 2020 has been quite a year. “One for the record books,” ...
Idiot Wants Moron to Moderate Debate With Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The 2020 presidential election is just over 50 days away, and ...
Trump Encourages Nation to ‘Never Forget’ 9/11 and ‘Always Forget’ Covid-19
WASHINGTON, D.C. — 19 years ago today, Al Qaeda operatives boarded four planes and ...
