Monday, March 8, 2021

gun violence

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WalMart Assures Americans They Can Still Make Love To Their Guns In Store Parking Lots

BENTONVILLE, ARKANSAS -- This week, WalMart's CEO shocked America when it announced it was ceasing sales of handgun ammunition and would no longer allow...

America Salutes Its Constitution With Back to Back Mass Second Amendment Celebrations in El Paso and Dayton

In two separate cities on back to back days, America honored its most sacred of Constitutional rights this weekend, and reports are that both...

NRA Spokesman: “A Few Dozen Dead School Kids Is A Literally Small Price To Pay For Freedom” (VIDEO)

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This week, the National Rifle Association released a video with its Junior Deputy Media Liaison addressing school shootings in which he...

Rick Santorum’s Froth Levels Critical After Meltdown Over March For Our Lives

COAL HOLE, PENNSYLVANIA -- First responders and medical professionals in the Keystone State are reporting that one of their residents is recovering after being...

Dana Loesch: ‘Children Should Be Shot At, But Not Heard’

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- This morning, NRA spokesterrorist Dana Loesch gave an interview to a right-wing radio host in which she said that school shootings...

Dana Loesch Can’t Figure Out Why So Many People Hate Her Just Because She Takes Money From Massacre Mongering Monsters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- NRA Spokeswoman Dana Loesch appeared on the panel of CNN's town hall discussion of gun violence last night, and the reaction...

Man Who Thinks He Just Took Excruciatingly Large Dump Surprised By Dinesh D’Souza In His Toilet Bowl

CASTLE GREENS, WISCONSIN -- A local man was quite surprised this morning when, after finishing what he thought was his routine morning defecation, he...

Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming, “Fucking Cunt-Ass Ball!”

MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony today, honoring the victims and survivors of the horrific mass...

NRA Exec Just Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your Dead Kids, America

FAIRFAX, VIRGINIA -- As he came out of the corporate headquarters of the National Rifle Association, Tim Timberlake was stopped and asked some questions...

Trump Supporter Recovering From Honeymoon Groin Injuries After Marrying AR-15

HOBART, ARKANSAS -- On the most recent episode of popular right-wing podcast and YouTube channel Biased But In a Non-Biased But Still Really Slanted Way,  Clem...
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