Monday, March 8, 2021

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Trump Campaign Sues America

"That's it! THAT IS IT! THAT IS EEEE-NOUGH!" The shouts were heard reverberating around the White House, just after the president's fourth breakfast of the...

Election Day: Voters Head to Polls During Final 24-Hours of Coronavirus Pandemic

Today, millions of Americans will stand in lines, sometimes for hours, to cast their ballots for president. Of course, there are several other important...

On Her 39th Birthday, Ivanka’s Just One Year From Being Traded For Younger, Hotter Daughter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told his First Lady that while he wanted to wish her a happy birthday, she should be "very...

Mike Pence Explains How Ripping Wombs Out of Immigrant Women is Pro-Life and Not Permanent Abortion

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning Vice President High Priest Michael Pence was asked to address shocking allegations that doctors in Georgia performed unrequested hysterectomies...

TikTok Changes Name to COVID-19 So Trump Will Leave Them Alone

CULVER CITY, CALIFORNIA -- In an effort to fend off a regulatory slap and being banned in the United States by President Donald Trump,...

Trump Demands MySpace Make Him Part of Everyone’s Top 8

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today on the Hill, a House special select subcommittee hosted executives from some of the top tech companies in the country....

Trump Paid the President of Florida to Take Cognitive Test for Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that President Donald Trump attempted to pay someone else to take a recently administered...

President Will Distribute Copies of Mary Trump’s Book at Future MAGA Rallies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump cannot be all that thrilled about his niece Mary's new book. In the tell-all, Ms. Trump goes into...

Twitter Will Start Slapping “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Warning on Trump Tweets

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever, Twitter applied real-time fact checks to tweets created and sent by the most...

White House Urges Americans to Perform Nightly Under-Bed Antifa Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- With so many challenges already facing Americans these days, the Donald Trump administration reportedly wanted to hold off on issuing the...
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