Saturday, June 12, 2021

Trump Announces He’s Going as Mid-Level, Truly Hilarious and Handsome Comedian for Halloween

Continuing in his attempts to ignore his wet socks from the level of water slowly growing around his ankles in the sinking ship that is the Trump administration, the Pumpkin-in-Chief was earlier today excited to announce his choice of costume for this year’s halloween.

In a series of tweets sent during his morning potty time today, the President announced that during an after work play group run by the White House daycare staff, he had been working with his friend Kellyanne, to create a costume of Californian comedian James Schlarmann.

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In further Tweets, Trump explained that his choice of costume was because the “failing” Schlarmann is clearly even more scary than even he is because of his permanent Twitter bans on 4 separate occasions.

When a White House representative was asked for comment on the President’s morning Tweets, they said, “Can’t you let him have his fun? He has been looking forward to this all year.” When asked if they could elaborate on their comment, the representatives reply was, “I’ll have to see about that. I don’t know yet.”

Helping to clarify the situation, a statement put out by the White House daycare team asking local residents around Pennsylvania Avenue to expect a visit from members Mr Trump and Mrs Conway asking for candy later tonight, said that as part of their efforts to reduce the number of angry tweets, they have been asking young Donald to channel his anger in a more creative way, such as through the creation of halloween costumes.

Asked what he thought of the President’s costume choice, Schlarmann, who was at the time of being spoken to wearing a cat mask, said, “I can only agree with his thoughts. Clearly my Twitter bans show that I am more scary than a man trying to start a nuclear war with North Korea.” Asked what the cat mask was for, Mr Schlarmann added; “Oh, this? This is my costume for Halloween. Yeah, I’m gatecrashing a party hosted by a Republican, and as we all know, nothing terrifies a Republican more than a pussy.”

Some more satire to enjoy:
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