The country is seemingly at each other’s throats these days over whether or not the First Amendment to our founding document — this thing we’re told is called the “Constitution” — really meant it when it said that peaceful protest is lawful. For many years, it’s been just assumed that everyone has a right to freedom of expression, so long as that expression doesn’t incite violence, or isn’t violent itself. However, for many Americans, seeing black football players silently take a knee during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner before NFL games is a bridge too far, and they’re fighting mad about it.
As it turns out, after doing loads and scads and oodles of research, that perhaps black football players are just simply doing it wrong. Instead of silently dropping to one knee to protest something silly like the extrajudicial execution of people of color in their communities, NFL players, especially…you know…THOSE kinds…should just take a page out of these folks’ books. When white people burn and overturn cop cars, break windows, and generally destroy property, they’re not rioting or breaking the law.
They’re celebrating. Nothing is more American, and nothing embodies freedom of expression and speech, quite like a celebration, don’t you agree? Of course you do. So if you know any uppity black people in your life that just will not shut up about police brutality, the rule of law, or due process, show them these videos and tell them you’re going to test them on it. Let’s just take a look at a few of the most notable instances of white people doing the First Amendment completely right.
Boston Red Sox Fans Celebrate Winning the World Series
Los Angeles Lakers Fans Celebrate Winning the NBA Finals
Chicago Blackhawks Fan Help Roll a Police Truck Over After Winning the NHL’s Stanley Cup
Vancouver Hockey Fans Celebrate/Riot Their Team Winning The Big Game
And now, more on respecting the flag and anthem, from our friends at The Political Garbage Chute.
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.